Animaled Gender

Surrounded by metal birds I conclusion-ed:
I will be no man's ape
Why call me porcupine? What makes me buffalo?

An explanation of these honesties from strangers would be nice
‘Cause since when is sitting outside
androgynous & content, considered to be so offensive?

My memory, once pushed behind zoo bars,
yellow-brick road-ed itself
to the day of the Seaport monkey man

Head to cis, toe to het, a man and woman
held hands, as they came near they
stared, & stared & stared

God, white picket fence mother fuckers are born without manners,
without the ability to manage
because what he did next still shocks me

That grown man crouched down in his khaki cargos &
OOH OOH, AH AH-ed...
He yelled we were apes // IT’S PRONOUNCED DYKES

I bit back at him from impulsiveness and a thick rage
leaving my girlfriend to grab my arm,
their nature holding me back from becoming a statistic

The monkey man’s girlfriend reacted plumply,
Rolling her eyes, “c’mon honey”
Lame... can’t even recognize when they're out of their lane

Now, a gaggle of teen boys and their birds/bikes
acted so similar, equally unjust in confidence
Why must men– why boys– why evoke any flavor of violence?

There’s no guarantee about what's left of me mind you,
after having to experience multitudes
of men's frustration with their own gender

They take out the illusion of conformity onto whatever
butterfly, frog, or faggot
they first see fit to fist fight or better say: slay against

Those lil lads called me porcupine, called me buffalo
I assume... because I'm hairy? I’m fat? But also,
thats my own anxiety determining their quirky quips

Maybe I was just having a bad hair day...
or again, maybe they hate gay people
What a toss up to have to ponder!

My failure to these certain creations and laws
of bone and sex, is having breath
Being queer in public... shit, what a rigmarole!

Even if I am part ape, I’m only as ape as any other man...
“Man”... whatever!
Only as persistent as porcupine, built buff as buffalo.

My animal crossing was eventful, as always when men feel threatened
boys and their toys, boys and their birds,
the metal remains screeching & grows louder when day becomes evening

This is maybe why I've been flamed for no trigger warning
Because life hits hard, coping is a luxury, we are all apes who love,
& apes who yell, & apes that fear, often I am an ape that steers

away into an elsewhere, due to existing in ways
in which this patriarchy truly despises
I wish I wasn't so afraid to ask “did you become that, a porcupine, a buffalo, too?”

‘Cause for me it was simple and clear!
The sound of hooves, the prick of quills, the evolution
I entertain a certain degree of gender delusion, envy, & whimsy

remaining my own ape, always!